Debbie Downer

Wow, I have been in a funk lately. What gives? I think it is the month of April. It is my mom’s birthday and death month. It is also usually tax day. My daughter’s birthday is a bright spot in the month. I don’t know if it’s the month, the moon, the planets and stars, or the vaccine, but I do know a funk when I am feeling one.

It has started with the weekend in the Keys and here I am still moping around. It is ridiculous. I have so many great things coming up. My son is headed down in a couple of weeks. My vaccine will have kicked in by then. I will be heading to see my dad and some cousins for a memorial service in late June. Hopefully I will see my daughter to help her move and celebrate her residency graduation (one occasion where I would fully support a total drunk fest). The school has cancelled the ceremony, but she may need help moving, so I will be cautiously hopeful that I can visit.

Anyway, I am usually a very upbeat, optimistic person. I beebop around and have a ready smile. Lately I have been a bit glum. I am in a bad cycle of going to bed late and waking up late so I don’t exercise in the morning. My life is better when I exercise in the morning.

My golf lessons were a bust. We used one club for all five lessons. For each one hour group lesson, I received less than 5 minutes of instruction. Yes, I watched my watch because that’s the bitch I can be. Plus one instructor would say one thing, the other another, so I didn’t know who to listen to. I have found a potential private instructor, but that is going to be a bit pricey.

I have been looking at realtor.com like a porn addict. Even though I am more than a year away from buying something, I am looking around all the time. I discovered that this crazy county allows super large HOA’s that have their own parks, so you have to live there to use them. Sigh. It did lead me to discover a new neighborhood close by that has the parks and walking paths I desire, but I don’t really like the housing options. Sigh again.

I am trying to segue way from realtor.com to Pintrest so I can figure out various styles/looks for a potential new abode. Plus moving away from realtor.com saves me from frustration that I can’t pursue any of the options I discover. I get free online magazines from the library, so I take screenshots of things I like.

I think I am also glum because I haven’t been able to tackle my weight loss with any meaningful results. It is my fault. I need to exercise for an hour a day and I need to be more cognizant of my eating. Period. It isn’t rocket science.

I have had very little in-person social life for over a year. The past year was suppose to be spent meeting and developing new friendships in this new town. I do have my Miami Zoom Toastmasters and I have visited with some Miami friends occasionally plus a few trips, so I need to be grateful that I have done more than many others. Plus I am financially secure. That is a huge plus.

Meh, a new month is about to start, so I have the opportunity to begin again. Each day offers a new beginning to get started, however, I am low on patience, so I need to restock my reserve. Any ideas on that?

Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

7 thoughts on “Debbie Downer

  1. I understand the funk. I’ve been riding it for a while and even if I, by some odd chance, wake up relatively neutral instead of sad or depressed, it doesn’t take long to plunge again. I don’t know what it is either…ugh. But, it’s cyclical, right? I mean, I’ve lived enough years to know that these things come in phases.

    Lets hope for both of us that we are in the end part of the phase and a new part, a fresh chapter, is just around the corner. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It is very possible that part of it is due to the fatigue from the vaccine. People tend to forget that pain or fatigue lead to depression. It’s so much easier to assume it’s just because someone is ‘too weak’ or ‘not doing enough’.
        That’s not the way mental health works.
        The mere fact that this month brings you back to your mother is enough for you to feel down. Add to that everything else AND the fatigue, are you really surprised you are feeling down?
        It would be surprising if you were NOT in a funk!
        I wish for you that you feel more like yourself soon. Hugs. XO

        Liked by 1 person

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