I was just reading a New York Times article about a couple who had gotten married. It is their usual Sunday column covering someone’s marriage. this one was interesting because the couple started long distance, met online and the woman had been in multiple polyamorous relationships. They are slightly older than me.
After I finished the article, I’ve been sitting here thinking perhaps I should get back into the dating pool. I think what I’m looking for is connection and relationships. I got back up on MeetUp yesterday and signed up for a few groups so I can start having some activities.
The timing is awkward. My son is scheduled to arrive in the next 10 days and will be with me probably for up to two weeks. I’m not going to start doing any of this exploration of relationships whether platonic or romantic with him squeezed into my one-bedroom apartment.
Maybe that makes the timing good, so I have some time to think about what I want before I jump in with both feet. I fret that I don’t have good photos for an online profile and my weight is more than I want it to be. If I keep waiting for things to be perfect, then I perhaps will never get back in the saddle.
Sometimes I think all I want a man for is to travel, go out to dinner and sometimes fix things around my place. LOL. I like my personal time and space immensely.
I think I will use this time to think about what I want in a romantic relationship. I’m not eager to live with anyone again. I worry that once again I will try too hard and give up too much in order to simply be liked or loved. I need to remember to be true to myself first and foremost.