Getting Back Out There

I thought I would jump back into online dating. I even spoke to a woman who takes candid photos of you and helps develop your online profile. It simply seemed like too much work right now. I am blasé about dating and perhaps that is a really good place to be.

Since this is my Hump Day post, I will say that I went ahead and ordered a new vibrator. OK, the first one I got through Amazon was a dud. Actually I got two. One is fine and I need to spend some time with it. The other didn’t have enough horsepower. I went back to Adam & Eve to re-purchase my Hitachi knockoff. It takes care of business quite handily.

With these new tools, the prospect of a man in my life doesn’t excite me. The evening with my Ex reminded me while I enjoy my own space. I feel a bit shy about trying to date while I am overweight. I know I shouldn’t, but I am. When I catch glimpses of me in the mirror or on Zoom calls, I don’t always like what I see. The fat rolls in my middle are disappointing and the scale is depressing.

I am indifferent to getting really social. Yes, I want to make new friends, but I am lazy right now. My MeetUp groups are getting active, I need/want to sign up for some more golf lessons, I want to do more social things and yet….I am not in a hurry.

I was daydreaming about what would I do if I retired early. If I had unlimited funds, how would I like to spend my days. In my mind, I would spend it getting my body healthy through a wide variety of exercise. I would try some hobbies like the furniture refurbishment. I would learn to sew perhaps. I would travel extensively.

Then I asked myself why I wasn’t doing those things now. The pandemic is waning, I am vaccinated, so that excuse is gone. My son will soon be off the payroll and even though I am saving like crazy, I can still put a little money towards fun activities.

Why am I waiting for tomorrow instead of utilizing today? It is time to get up off my butt and get on with life. What does that look like? Exercise, on my own terms. No crazy Whoop Challenges. Back to the gym 3 days a week so I can do my strength training. Walking is great, but I need to build my muscles up. As I get older, I need to focus on strength and balance. With this in mind, it is time for me to investigate a Pilates or barre class. It will probably kill me, but that’s OK. I will get stronger.

If I want to refurbish and flip furniture, I need to go ahead and start with some small pieces. I am thinking about buying one or two wooden jewelry boxes to paint and spruce up. That will let me experiment a bit.

I need to make sure that I am doing two MeetUps a month. I don’t want to overwhelm myself and over-commit, so two is good for now. I need to make some friends up here one way or another. The best way is to simply get out and do some things.

I will try not to fizzle out on these activities. I am re-reading (albeit very slowly) Jon Acuff’s book, Finish. He is very pragmatic about goal-setting and how to get across the finish line. I loved this book the first read. I can tell because of the highlights and marked up pages throughout. I have also implemented many of his tips and forgot that he is where I discovered them. I need to think about one or two key areas of improvement to focus on first.

In the meantime, I need to go check on my Adam & Eve order. After all, it’s Hump Day.

Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

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