My Ex is an asshole. I don’t say this because he is my Ex, but he is my Ex because he is an asshole. Does that make sense? I divorced him because he is a verbally abusive, narcissistic piece of shit, but I stayed until my kids were grown to protect them.
My daughter’s graduation is very soon. An elegant black tie event where she will be honored as the Chief Resident. The evening is the culmination of five years of grueling hard work. The weekend will be spent celebrating her accomplishments, her new job, her upcoming fellowship. In other words, it is not about him.
I am thrilled to be a part of this celebration. I have my long dress, gifts, pride and excitement to see her get her well-deserved accolades.
My Ex is pissed because his new wife won’t be able to go to the actual event. She was invited to a family dinner the night before. He planned on skipping the event dinner, so he could spend the evening with her. By skipping event dinner, he misses the entire graduation celebration. Last week, my daughter sent him a text explaining that this would be hurtful. He insisted it was worse to leave his wife alone…even though his sister planned to hang out with her. Besides, can’t a grown woman fend for herself for an evening? The argument spread out over the week and included my son-in-law. It seemed to be resolved, but…..
On Fathers Day, he got into a screaming argument with my daughter about the graduation. All she wanted to do is pay her respects and wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He launched into one of his out-of-control, winner-take-all tirades where he will say any and everything to win the argument. She’s pregnant, taking her Boards in a month and moving in two weeks. What an asshole.
I spend an hour talking to her later that day. I told her it wasn’t her, it is him. She was apologizing about dragging me into it, but I told her that I understood what was going on better than anyone else in the world. I let her get it all out. I felt horrible for her. What an asshole.
We have no idea what this weekend holds. I don’t know if he will show up. He probably will just so he can be an asshole. I am holding my breath hoping he will behave, if he does. Anything can happen. What an asshole. He is trying to ruin her moment. He cannot stand for anyone to have a glorious moment of recognition without shitting all over it. He did it to me, so I know he will do it to her. What an asshole.
The good news is that the three of us (me, daughter and son-in-law) will not hesitate to tell (not ask) him to leave if he gets out of line. But is that really good news? Nobody wants to have to set those boundaries with family. What an asshole…. Wish us luck….