Last week I spent my 40-hour work week doing….. virtually nothing. I can easily do this job in 20 hours. It is not a challenge and there isn’t enough work for me. Yet, I show up every day so I can collect a very nice paycheck.

Sometimes I ask myself if I can ready do this for a decade. I don’t think I can. My job involves mainly my expertise and knowledge, but few daily tasks. My boss is very smart and I like her, but she is also a control freak and somewhat nutty. She has been traveling for two weeks. We have had at most three email exchanges. I don’t need to be micro-managed, but I helped her put together a major presentation for senior leadership about my department and … crickets. I scheduled a meeting with her upon my return and hopefully she will provide a debrief then.

I see other jobs online. Jobs that would allow me to work remotely and travel a little. My initial job description included 25% travel. That hasn’t happened. OK, there is a pandemic, but before the pandemic I had put in a goal about visiting all of our offices. She shot it down immediately.

The money for these new jobs would be the same or more. I am tempted. The problem is I am now in the age bracket where women are overlooked and not hired. Do I leave my safe and sure thing for the great unknown?

I was looking at the CEO’s calendar (because I have too much time on my hands) and he has lunch scheduled with an equity group that loves to buy firms like ours. Interesting. We all know that he will be selling the company in about five years or less. To prepare for the sale, he probably needs to acquire a few companies. Is he meeting with this guy to get acquisition funding or has he reached the point he is ready to sell?


I can hold tight and give my daughter time to land at her job. She is about two years away from being in a position to buy a home and settle into her post-residency life. I give her that timeline because she has the fellowship and then needs a year to settle into private practice.

Do I move close to them in order to be their support network? Is that too much of a sacrifice on my part? Am I doing it just to settle? Can I handle the cold winters of the Northeast? I have been living in southern Florida for 38 years.

Maybe all of this rambling is just two glasses of wine talking. Once again, I just need patience.

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

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