This is my weekly Hump Day post about sexual subjects. This week isn’t too graphic – I think.
As I began Week Two of Bumble, I was still a bit disheartened. I am not seeing tons of matches. I have a handful and ended up focusing on three. I told myself to lighten up because I had two dates this week! First up was the MeetUp guy.
He is a nice guy. I joined the MeetUp group at an outdoor free concert and food truck event. It ended up being just the two of us. The concert started and so did the rain. I had a small umbrella. He gave me an extra golf umbrella and we got soaked. I braved it for half an hour because in South Florida you always wait 15 minutes for the weather to change (and it always will). In this case, the rain only intensified.
I chose to laugh and not be prissy about the rain. He admired that and when I said I needed a raincheck, he laughed. We agreed that I would continue to follow his MeetUp group and we will try again.
During the brief pre-rain chat, he told me a little about his MeetUp group. It is a brilliant idea. He has a mathematical formula to his membership, but basically it works out to how ever many couples is fine, but the ratio of women to men is 2:1. He pays the MeetUp fees and will kick out anybody who causes drama. He said that he prefers to have women he meets online come to a few of these events first before he considers a one-on-one date. Like I said, brilliant. It takes all the pressure off of everyone.
The next date was with a super fit guy. I was surprised that we connected. I liked his comments on a number of topics. He is a deep, sensitive soul. We met for drinks over the weekend and had a 3-hour conversation. I like him, BUT there are a few things that raise my eyebrow.
He has had a traumatic childhood. I don’t know much, but a couple of things he said in passing caught my attention. There is some PTSD and anxiety issues lurking. He has a good, stable job. Polite, paid for drinks and food, walked me to my car. Didn’t try to kiss me. Attractive, dressed appropriately for the date. He didn’t ask me too many questions. Maybe he was nervous. I didn’t feel a lot of testosterone from him. I like a hefty dose of testosterone.
He is a guy who loves a supplement. He had a pretty serious case of Covid and credits his recovery to a mushroom supplement he continues to take today. He still has not gotten vaccinated. According to his research, it will counteract his existing antibodies or some such nonsense.
The not getting vaccinated thing because of his “research” bothered me. It’s a red flag. Like I have written before, I do not believe it is my role in society to lecture/teach/push people to get vaccinated. However, I can also choose not to be around people who won’t get vaccinated.
Anyway, it was a successful date. I enjoyed the evening and would probably go on another date with him. We walked past another restaurant on the way back to our cars and he said we should go there next. I like the guy, but there isn’t sizzle. I need to date against type, so he is a good candidate for this.
Sizzle is developing with one of my breadcrumb guys. He’s a bad boy. Ugh. What is it with bad boys and me? I know they are no good for me, but dammit, I get sucked into their black hole.
I should have just stopped the conversation once he ventured into deeper (aka sexual) waters, but I like to be amused. He has yet to invite me to something. I have spelled out my conditions. We banter, disappear on one another and reappear. He said something profound, I told him I liked that and then he tells me something inappropriate. He does make me laugh.
Time will tell if we will actually meet. He wants to drink wine, Netflix and chill. I told him that the wine portion will take place at a restaurant. We need to see if the sizzle happens in real life. He’s a fuck boy. He will see sizzle because I have breasts (and other parts). The question is will I see sizzle.
Noom had a segment about Avoidance. They talked about how Avoidance can be good or bad, so you want to build good habits around strengthening the good behaviors rather than the bad. They were talking about the scale, but I immediately began thinking about relationships.
To get past Avoidance, Noom suggests Exposure. Doing the dreaded activity repeatedly so it becomes less worrisome. For me, that would involve saying no to men and calling them on their BS. Perhaps that is the destiny of this BC (breadcrumb) guy. He is in my life to teach me a lesson about standing up for what I want and not to fold just because I want someone (who I fucking don’t even know) to like me.
In the meantime, I put together a Top 10 list of attributes I want in a man:
- Self-sufficient/independent and capable
- Kind & trustworthy
- Sexy and affectionate
- Clean and neat without being obsessive
- Well read, smart and politically similar to me.
- Emotionally mature/stable with no drama or overflowing family dysfunctional issues
I will just keep trucking along and learning how to date like an adult. I will continue to get in shape and lose weight. I will continue to learn how to say no and ask for what I deserve. If I can do all of this, I will continue to grow and evolve. That is all I really want these days. Well, and perhaps a great roll in the hay….NO, I didn’t say that did I? LOL.