I am Blessed

I am a very fortunate woman. I have two wonderful kids that are doing well, I am about to be a grandmother!I no longer have any debt, I have been able to save some money and I have lived a great life.

I am very much at peace with myself and feel comfortable in my own skin. I am trying to continually improve myself by trying new things like Noom, more exercise, online dating, MeetUp groups, Book club, church and so much more.

I am smart, healthy, sane (for the most part). I am relatively content. I don’t have any drama in my life. I have friends and I get along with my family overall.

However, I think I see a cloud in my horizon. My conversations with my boss not only over the raise but also during my annual review have been bugging me. I have been trying to unwind what was behind those conversations. I know there’s more than what meets the eye.

She thinks I should do more yet she won’t let me do more, so I’m in a conundrum there. I did sit back and have the realization that I have done a ton of things that she just isn’t aware of. When she is aware of it, she wants me to stop and she’s annoyed by it. So I can’t win.

Then it dawned on me. Is she somehow jealous of me? I mean, I have my shit together. She, on the other hand, has no friends, no family and she really doesn’t have any friends at work. Nobody likes or trusts her. She is beautiful, very personable and smart, but her loyalty is strictly for the CEO.

She has the nice house and plenty of money, but those are only material things. Both of her parents and siblings have died. She has no children. She was married once early in her life and has never remarried nor is she dating.

She is my age and her life is only about work, going to the gym, the beach and doctor appointments all the time for various ailments.

Not to brag, but somehow I feel like I have so much more. My life is so much richer and fuller. She says that she is awe of my courage to try online dating and MeetUp groups or just go out by myself. I have tightened up on my personal stories with her because it could give her ammo.

She’s very competitive with a dash of crazy, so I don’t see this ending well. I am telling you my Spidey senses have been tingling for the past two months. I don’t know if it’s that the company is going to be sold or if my job is in jeopardy or what. But there is something going on and it’s going to bite me in the ass. Mark my words.

Although it does weigh on my mind a bit, I am trying to be Zen with it and realize that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. I cannot control the situation, so I have to just let things go.

What I can do is prepare for my defense and my future. I need to update my resume. At work, I need to go back and update my list of things that I have done to save the company money, accomplishments, new policies and procedures, extra things I have done to benefit the company, etc. I need to be ready the next time she brings these topics up. I need to start firing back. Even if all I’m doing is using a squirt gun, I need to defend myself. Because if I don’t, who will?

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

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