I must trust my gut more. I had a date that on the surface seemed OK. I wasn’t interested in the guy, but we had, I thought, a pleasant conversation. Apparently he harbored ill feelings to being rejected. Let me start from the beginning.
This guy started out on Match with a flurry of flirty compliments. This is commonly known as “love bombing”. He got a little impatient about a lag in my response time. Red flag. I explained that I was about to leave work and drive home, so I won’t multi-task. Cool. He never resurfaced later in the evening. That’s fine too.
He re-surfaced the next day and went the wrong way. He started on Match (when he has my burner # for texting) and said he was hoping I would reach out. I replied by text that I was hoping the same.
We chat a bit by text about pets and then I get this:
Do I see hints of a red flag fluttering…
We chat some more and he seemed to settle down. We agree to meet for a drink. He picks a spot 30 minutes away, I balk and he chooses another that is closer. Both are simple neighborhood sports bars. Really? Ok, whatever. I went into this with a bit of trepidation. I told a friend that my expectations were low, but I just didn’t want a stalker. It turned out to be heavy foreshadowing….
Remember I wrote about getting a burner phone number when I went on Match? This guy is the reason why doing that was money well spent.
After we connected, he changed up his photos on his profile. He asked me which one I preferred. He had a pretty wild pandemic beard and that was in some of his initial photos. He removed those photos. He said he was thinking about shaving it off and my response was “geez”. I told him not to shave it on my account. He went ahead and shaved the beard off. I mean, that was … wow.
He showed up in flip flops and sweat pants. WTF. And his hair was now long, stringy and he had a bald patch. He did not look like his photos. He was older, heavier and less well groomed. Remember the hair is a deal breaker for me. The whole bad grooming and bad dresser are deal breakers. Shit. Then he says he has not been in a restaurant since the pandemic started. EXCUSE ME? We live in Flori-duh, everyone goes out. Plus he is vaccinated. I found that weird.
I immediately go to my escape
lie story. I have a girlfriend who is passing a kidney stone. She has been in a lot of pain all day and I may need to go check on her and walk her dog. He says that women often make up stories once they meet him. WTF. But my story is convincing with specific details that it throws him off.
We have a drink, some wings and chat. The conversation is OK, but he is friend zone if that. He goes to the bathroom and I seriously thought about leaving. In hindsight, I should have. We wrap up in 1-1/2 hours. He walks me to the car. He wants a big smooch with tongue. Nope, just a peck. He says, “Is that all I get?” I smile and jump in the car, lock my doors and drive off. Whew.
I get home, change and suddenly the following starts trickling in on my burner number. Holy shit….
That is not his number. He is also using a burner number. I know it is him because only 3 guys have this number. I am stunned. There were about 3-4 minute gaps between messages. Holy cow. Shit, shit, shit.
Plus I am messaging on Match with a guy who wasn’t my typical catfish and suddenly I realized it could be Creepy Dude cat fishing me at the same time. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The catfish said he was an IT software security engineer. I told him I was jumping off because I had to report a harasser. His response was to tell me to relax. That was when I knew it was Creepy Dude.
I contacted Match. Creepy Dude had already unmatched, but I could still report him because I had been getting an email each time he had messaged thru the app. I told Match I have screen shots. I also screen shot some of the profile pictures so I can use them when I create a contact for someone.
Then SNAP new catfish guy is gone from my feed as well. What the heck is going on? Did Match catch him? Whoa, that was unsettling.
I wrote this the same night it all occurred so I could keep my details straight and document all of this. I felt unsettled, so I watched a movie before writing. It is 2 am and I just got a ping from Match that I have a new Like. The guy’s name: Bear. That’s the name of my old, now dead dog and I had used it in a story to Creepy Dude. He also created another catfish account named Jupe. Juped means to be denied, cheated of something.
Both catfish profiles have 2-3 photos which don’t match, limited profiles and they are very overweight guys. I blocked and reported both. At least Creepy Dude has an MO. Seriously creepy stuff.
I also realized what a slick fuck he is because I had another out-of-town guy that had started a chat right before my date with Creepy Dude. Yep, pretty damn sure he is also Creepy Dude. I unmatched and reported him too.
Creepy Dude called me three times around 3 am after that ill-fated date. I saw the first call was him, so I silenced my phone and went back to sleep. One went to voice mail but it was 10 seconds of silence.
Now my Match queue is cleaned out. My plan is to stay off it for a couple of days and see if things calm down. I can use the break.
I’m not happy. He has seen my car, has my license plate and knows the name of my employer. No bueno. My employer has put everyone’s headshot and contact info on the website. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He may be creepy, but he is also very, very smart. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
In the midst of all his trolling, the creepy shit sends me a text through his regular number, “I wish you felt more attracted to me but such is life.” Creepy!!
I decided at the beginning to simply not respond to any of it. A true, total ghosting. Eventually he will probably be blocked. I thought about dumping this burner number and getting a new one. I’m undecided. I don’t see any upside in engaging with this wacko. I feel like it will be gasoline on the fire. He wants attention, he wants to freak me out. By being a gray stone and not engaging, I hopefully become boring to him. Fuck.
Match has already reached out asking for additional information. Ladies, screenshot EVERYTHING when you are first connecting with someone. The information often disappears quickly and unexpectedly.
I also had an idea. I am going back the bar. I know it is not his usual hangout. I am dragging my bestie to have lunch. I want to talk to the manager and find our server from that evening. Creepy Dude paid with a credit card. If he has my name, I want his… to be continued…
Here is an interesting article, I am not alone…