Hey guys, here are some tips about first dates if you want to go out with me on a second date. This is based on a recent first date, last date.
- Show up on time and respect time constraints. This guy showed up 20 minutes late. He warned me 30 minutes prior he was running 15 minutes late. He didn’t have a reason and didn’t apologize. He had no respect for my time boundary. I told him I needed to leave at a certain time for a specific conference call. He took forever in the bathroom, talked to the band setting up – basically he had no respect for my schedule. That really irked me. Strike 1
- He talked 80% of the time…about himself. OK, it seemed 80%. The conversation didn’t feel balanced and he really didn’t have anything interesting to say, but he.kept.talking. He talked so much he would lose his train of thought. Strike 2
- When the check came for our drinks, and all we had was two drinks each, he mentioned that next time was on me. Excuse me? I am a Baby Boomer/Gen X high value woman. Sorry to be so snotty, but I expect the guy to pay – always, until we get into something more longer term. Strike 3.
Other random non-starters:
- He looked OK, but as I sat there I simply could not imagine kissing him or letting him touch me.
- He was cussing from the get go. Now understand that I have a potty mouth and I have heard it all, however, I do not like men who swear in front of women on an initial meeting. Research supports me. To me, this is a sign of disrespect.
- He kept texting during our date. He said it was his teenage son, but somehow I doubt it…
- He just was not a solicitous host. Does that make sense? He never offered an appetizer. In fact, he flat out rebuffed the waitress’ food inquiry without asking me.
- HE IS NOT DIVORCED… he is separated, but the divorce is not final. This kind of slipped out during drinks. They have been battling this for two years. Really? The sense I got is that simply haven’t gotten around to finalizing the paperwork, not because it was complicated or acrimonious. Come to think of it, was he texting with the wife?!
One thing I am discovering is that I am not settling when it comes to manners. I want polite and respectful. Also, be single. Really single. I don’t want some separated guy because either 1) the divorce is never happening or 2) I will be the rebound and that rarely works.
With that said, NEXT!!