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My Limerence is Poking Out

How bad was my limerence? Here’s a good sample as I was fighting to regain control. Keep in mind we had only met twice, romped once.

I am in the throes of a severe case of infatuation. I become a love bomber… or at least I want to become one. I hold myself back. I am writing copiously about my feelings and hopes with Woody, so I can channel all this emotion. Will it become a relationship? Is he the right person? I don’t know if all these drafts will be posted, but my Drafts folder is filling up.

What does he want? He was on Bumble for a reason. His profile says relationship, but we all know that people have different definitions of “relationship”.

My level of smitten has moved up to strong infatuation. I have to rein it all back. I want to chat with him and get a sense of his feeling before I spew myself all over him. I can easily go overboard. I think about him constantly. But I know he’s not thinking of me nearly as much.

What is really funny is how sore both of us were the day after. We aren’t young anymore that’s for sure. His back is sore, my shoulders and forearms are sore. Shit, getting old sucks sometimes.

Right now I just want to be with him and learn him, soak up his mannerisms, likes/dislikes, habits, stories, I am drawn to him like a moth to a flame and we all know what happens to moths who get to close to the flame….

I just need to be cool. “Be cool, Honey Bunny, be cool” a la Pulp Fiction. Focus on my usual routines. Give this all some time and space to do whatever it is going to do.

I have no focus at work. I just sit and write these random ass sentences in no particular order.

I want to send him photos, songs, share, share, share. The only thing I have done is send a text that says, “My level of smitten has increased.” That’s enough for now.

I find that if I keep myself busy and keep moving my life plan along today, that helps. I made an appointment for my LASIK evaluation. I want to move ahead with that. I did some research and discovered that my HSA will not cover my tummy tuck, so I will have to regroup and come up with a new idea for that. I am doing some other personal finance things that is keeping my brain occupied in a positive way. All good stuff. That is what I will need to continue to do. Otherwise, I find myself daydreaming about ole blue eyes….

Photo by Henrique Ferreira on Unsplash

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

5 thoughts on “My Limerence is Poking Out

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