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What is Limerence?

Have you ever heard of limerence? I hadn’t heard of it until I got into this crazy blogging world. With my previous blog, I followed some great ladies who wrote frequently about their limerence and the limerence of their paramours.

What is limerence? From a Huffington Post article:

Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, has been described as “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.”

For details, here is another great article.

Some writers compare it’s euphoric high to a cocaine high. Very addictive, very exhilarating. Yes, I believe it.

As I felt myself spiraling into something beyond smitten with Woody, I had to basically tell myself “Snap out of it” like Cher did with Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck.

I literally had a very long conversation (or 2) with myself during a very long walk. I then set up a number of other activities to keep my mind occupied. I have been cooking, setting up some appointments to take care of a host of personal things, reached out to friends and family to chat. Plus I reminded myself that my focus needs to be on my daughter and the upcoming baby. That is what truly needs to be a top priority. Not a guy that I have only just met who doesn’t communicate as much as my obsessed mind would like.

The stern talk helped immensely. I have put things into perspective for now. FYI, for your perspective, all this inner drama was occurring in a couple of days following our second date. I haven’t even known this guy for a week. That was another fact that helped my pragmatic self take charge and pop the crazy back into the bottle.

However, I am completely over-thinking when he comes over tomorrow. First guy outside of HWINL that will have crossed the threshold of this apartment.

I want to understand where the heck we are going. Are we going anywhere? What does he want? Is he dating other people? Should I? I think it is too soon to lock into exclusivity, but I am curious how actively he is pursuing others. All these questions are a bit premature, but that is part of my crazy. It wants an instant relationship.

I have taken my foot off the online dating gas pedal. The timing is excellent anyway with the new baby’s imminent arrival. I will be out of town for a week anyway.

How does that tie in with Woody? He mentioned he may be leaving town for awhile on business. I understand why. It might be weeks before we reconnect. How will that work?

This is why I just have to loosen up and go with the flow. If I grip too tightly, how does the song go? Let me go back to being in the moment. That’s the only place I can be.

Published by birdiehope

A smart, funny quasi-introvert who loves a festival.

7 thoughts on “What is Limerence?

      1. The ex-boyfriend who was making a lot of noise about me writing about him on my old blog. I’m so happy I switched to a new one. Things happen for a good reason sometimes…

        Liked by 1 person

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